Poor Maria Conchita Alonso, stuck in a loud, unfunny comedy. Critic's rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars.

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The wife of a wealthy architect, Remedios lives the kind of life that could be the basis of a "Real Housewives" episode. On a typical day, she lunches with two Botoxed buddies; her nights are spent at glamorous Miami society parties.

That all changes when she comes home and finds her husband in bed with another woman. He's not repentant. In fact, it's just the opposite. "Have you seen yourself in the mirror?" he asks her. "You even smell old."

So, of course, she shoots him — four times — and kills him. That's no spoiler; after all, the film is titled "¡He Matado a Mi Marido!" or "I Killed My Husband!" But it's surprising how fast the murder happens; at this point, we're only eight minutes into the movie.

Equally surprising: how quickly the whole thing goes downhill. Remedios (Maria Conchita Alonso) convinces busybody maid Berta (Assumpta Serna) to help hide the body in a rolled-up carpet in the living room of the family mansion. Conspicuous much?

There's a big party planned that night to celebrate her husband's recent Pritzker Architecture Prize win. (Off-topic: What award-winning architect would live in this gaudy house?) Of course, Remedios doesn't cancel, so the home is soon swarming with friends and family members full of secrets being served guacamole laced with drugs (don't even ask). 

"¡He Matado a Mi Marido!" seems to be inspired by the kind of bold comedies that Pedro Almodóvar specializes in, with divas at center stage and madcap situations. But writer-director Francisco Lupini-Basagoiti is no Almodóvar, mistaking stupidity for zaniness. No one acts even remotely like a human being, and the performances are way too broad to make us care. And, quite simply, unfunny, with everyone joylessly mugging for the camera. 

Even the film's would-be revelations are poorly thought-out. One character comes out of the closet while Remedios' daughter comes home with a boyfriend who is black. You have to remind yourself that yes, this is set in the 21st century. 

The movie seems designed as a vehicle for Alonso, who even performs the movie's title tune. She can be a zesty comic actress with the right material. Here, she goes down singing with the ship. 

Reach the reporter at randy.cordova@arizonarepublic.com or 602-444-8849. Twitter.com/randy_cordovaSubscribe to azcentral.com today.

‘¡He Matado a Mi Marido!,’ 1.5 stars

Director: Francisco Lupini-Basagoiti.

Cast: Maria Conchita Alonso, Guy Ecker, Assumpta Serna

Rating: Not rated. 

Note: At Sonora Cinemas and Harkins Arizona Mills. In Spanish with English subtitles. 

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